Can we just agree that 2020 has been a $h!t year???
There have been plenty of "negative vibes" at every turn. Everyone I know has experienced one thing after another of sad and unexpected circumstances.
While we're all experiencing various levels of sadness, grief, unexpected changes, or fear there are steps that I have learned to take that I'd like to help you with as well.
These steps may seem too easy, but for many people (myself included) they are not. As simple as they might seem, implementing these steps takes hard work, dedication, being ok with failing multiple times, and the ambition to keep rising above tough feelings and circumstances regularly.
Change is never easy, but it's worth it!
Step 1:
Vocal Communication
I wish I had this down to a perfect science in my life, but I struggle with vocal communication regularly. I'm almost positive it's because I never opened up about my past until adulthood out of overwhelming fear.
That's not to say it's impossible to overcome, it just means that vocal communication hasn't been my strongest suit. I can write what I want to say all day long, but talking (out of my mouth) can be difficult and so laborious.
However, in an effort to give myself and you no excuses, I must stress the importance of this being the top priority in personal growth and development.
Talk about it! Whatever you are negatively feeling, tell someone! Even if you are talking to yourself in the mirror. There have been times throughout my life where I have shut myself in my room and talked about my problem out loud. I felt so much better after doing this.
Also, it may help to pray out loud. I've done this many times too! I feel so connected, loved, guided, and less alone in my circumstances when I pray.
You can always find a trusted friend, your spouse, a sibling, a parent, or maybe even your pet. The point is to speak words out loud in whatever capacity you can.
Talking about how you feel isn't a weakness. It takes courage and strength to open up about your struggles and pain. Always remember, vulnerability is your superpower! So, do yourself a huge loving favor and open your mouth!
Step 2:
Get Some Quiet Time:
So, you've talked about it. Now what?
It may be hard to do when you have a thousand and one things going on, but slipping away for quiet time to think is so refreshing and needed! Even if it's not in your personality to have quiet time, do it anyway!
If it's just for five minutes, that five minutes can do more for you than if you were to "stew" in your negative juices for the rest of the day.
You need time to process how talking about your feelings actually felt to you!
Side note:
Please tell yourself it's okay to feel. I have met some pretty grouchy and lonely people in my life because they believe "feeling" is a weakness. They keep everything bottled up and shutdown. As a result, they lead very unhappy, unfulfilling lives.
Breathe, connect with your inner world, that is... your own beating heart... and reassure yourself that if you've made it this far, then life is worth moving forward another step. You got this!
This brings me to the last step...
Step 3:
Change what you're focusing on
After we've spilled our guts and we have slipped away to process and breathe, now we need to work on our focus.
If you're always thinking about what you lack, what you're not happy about, what you're afraid of, things you don't like, or what makes you sad, you're going to keep going through the same cycles time and time again.
It's the law of reaping and sowing. This law works within us just as much as it works outside of us. When you change the negative stories, you tell yourself about life, your life will change also!
A few posts back I talked about pink elephants and blue elephants.
Now, bear with me here...
If I tell you to only think about a pink elephant, that's what you'll see in your mind.
You will see a pink elephant until I mention a blue elephant. Now, you're no longer thinking about the previous color. You're now imagining a blue elephant. (or you're seeing it here on this post... right in front of you, but you get the point)
Changing your focus is similar, not as easy as changing images of colorful elephants, but the concept is the same.
If all you can imagine in your head is the worst-case scenario, the thing you don't like to do, or the sadness you can't seem to shake, start thinking about the best outcome, what you love about your life, how it feels to overcome something hard and think about anything else that makes you happy and feel alive inside. Change the narrative!
The situation may not change, but your response and feelings toward it will. You will reach a happier state of being within tough life circumstances which will cause you to live in more peace and harmony.
Feel gratitude for things in your life that bring you joy and fulfillment. Focus on the joy of completing that dreaded task you keep putting off. How are you going to feel once you finish it? When you think about things that give you peace, joy, gratitude, love, hope, kindness, etc... you will produce more of the same in your life.
Again, it's the law of sowing and reaping! Plant thoughts in the garden of your mind that are full of life and you will reap a life of joy, fulfillment, love, and peace... even when there are not so joyous things going on around you.
So, these steps are just a few steps I take to help myself live a more happy and fulfilling life. You can adopt these steps into your own life if you choose, and if you have any more suggestions on how you overcome your negative vibes, feel free to share them in the comments! I would love to hear from you!
As always, I'm sending you love and hugs today! I hope you enjoy your weekend and all of your Thanksgiving leftovers!
Love,
Charity
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